~

FOREVER ALONE.




Just going to give up now.





Not even joking.

-

So, it's been 2 weeks since my mother or father or sister (not that I give a shit about her or my mother really) have said ONE word to me, not even through a text msg.
It has also been 2 weeks since I have been home.
I had to make a new facebook account too because my sister was able to comment on pictures of me and I didnt want to see what she had to say.

I would tell you guys the story of what happen but it wouldn't sound right so I wont BUT I can say with complete honesty that I DID NOTHING WRONG. :)

So anyways this is just a post to say how pathetic and immature my sister (and mother) are. This was also about expressing my feelings of a-little-bit-of-everything, because I refuse to be immature and put nasty status' about them on facebook.

But yeah, this is completely random and I probably just wasted your time but it needed to be shared, I needed to express myself and let people know that my life actually isn't that easy.

...YAY, perfecting timing with christmas!!... :/

</3

I MADE A PROMISE TO MYSELF I WONT STOOP TO THEIR LEVEL AND IM GOING TO KEEP THAT PROMISE.

Update !

My hair just a couple of days ago... It is soo much darker now :)

So it’s formal tomorrow…

I’m so lucky I have my bestfriend/boyfriend to go with (even though he is wearing this dorky guitar tie) but that won’t matter because for one night, one final night im not going to give a FUCK what anyone thinks of me.
Everything that has happened at school WILL NOT BOTHER ME :)
The only things I want from tomorrow night is LOTS of pretty pictures and to look way better than her.
Bring on tomorrow.

Other updates:
- I have also now completed all of my HSC exams and come mid december... the results..
- Martin & I have now been together 9 months! <3
- I dyed my hair dark :)

Right now, I can't be happier.

PEACE&LOVE.

Less than an hour!!

45 minutes!

That's right its 45 mins until im 18!!

Legal to do whatever I want!

Free as a bird!

Prolly going to end up drunk as a skunk after dirty dancing all night long!

WHAAAADUPP!!

Ok, so maybe I wont be drunk as a skunk but it still should hopefully be a good day. (oh god I hope so!)

BOOOYAHHH!

:D:D:D:D

PEACE.X

Im baccck! :D :D

 Heyy! Woah! It's been almost a month since I have posted anything (life actually got the better of me. Who'd of thought? lol.) I have been BUSY BUSY BUSY! So much stuff has been happening lately that I have hardly had time to breathe. Anyways im breathing now - thought it might be a good idea...

So I think it's time for a quick catchup!
My name is Laura.
I love singing.
I live in Australia.

OH ANDD...

~ I have officially graduated from school!
~ I turn 18 on friday.
~ The singing artist KATE MILLER-HEIDKE wished me a personal happy birthday on stage at one of her concerts I went to!!!!
~ We had our 'muck up' day at school on our last day.
~ I have fixed some broken relationships :D
~ AND Martin & I have been together almost 8 months!!

Now..

THE BIG BAD WORLD LOOMS!

:O :O

Scary...

In the meantime here are some pictures of the past month or so :)

KHS Year 12 Muck up Day :)

Martin & I - on muck up day.

Me (Red Ridding Hood) & my friend Laurie (Big hairy monster thing..)

Kate Miller-Heidke at her concert :))

Martin & I on graduation night.

CIAO. XX

Singing! :D

Hey guys!
So I don't post on here a lot anymore since im focusing on school and stuff BUT this is just a quick post to share with you something that I have been working on with Martin. We have been working on a performance of 'Hallelujah', this is a 35 second clip from youtube of us practicing it. There is improvement, we know that but I really like it so far!
CHECK IT OUT!! :D

Martin & Laura - Working on Hallelujah.

Martin - Guitar.
Laura (me) - Vocals.

I fucking hate facebook!

I hate facebook SO much!

People are bitchy, rude, mean, disrespectful, horrible, nasty, awful, bullied, and SO MUCH more! I hate facebook.
Facebook is the biggest waste of time ever, and so are the people on it. People you thought were your 'friends'. Everyone is a keyboard hero when they go on. They think it's alright to publicly name and shame people. Is it just to see how many likes you get, is that what gives you a kick out of it? I wanna punch so many people in the face because of it, and you know what? They would deserve it! 

I just want to cry.

If you don't like my posts, or me, don't have me on your facebook! Simple! But there is no need to be so bitchy! It's just horrible and makes people feel like shit! GOD.

So now im asking - if YOU ARE a nice person, you should add me on facebook, because my facebook certainly needs more positive people!

ADD MEEEE - http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001241470753 :)

since we're on the topic...

1. What I want to be?

A singer, real estate person or photographer.

2. What I am wearing right now?

School jersey & jeans.

3. My last night out in detail?

A lot went on but I don't remember a lot of it... hahaha ;D

4. First thing you thought about this morning?

Never getting out of bed again :/

5. One person from blogger i’d throw off a cliff, one i’d marry and one i’d fuck?

Uhm. No one.

6. Have you ever wished on a shooting star?

Amazingly enough I saw my first shooting star on the way back from dinner with Martin on our  6 month :D So that would be a, yes.

7. My longest relationship and who it was with?

3 years, with my ex ex.

8. What my last text message says?

"haha thanks :)  Woah serious? That sucks! Poor person :/ And wow, that  really does sum us up :D I love you soo much! :D xxxxx

9. What kind of person attracts you?

A Martin kind of person :)

10. Is it hard to make you laugh?

It really depends on my mood, but most of the time, no.

11. Do you act differently around the person you like?

I hope to think I don't, and i'm pretty certain I don't.

12. Does the last person you held hands with mean something to you?

Just a bit... Jokes! He means everything to me!

13. What’s stopping you from going for the person you like?

There isn't anything. Im going out with the person I love :)

14. Who would you like to see right now?

Martin.

15. Are you missing someone?

Yes. My grandma. R.I.P. </3

16. What I find attractive in boys/girls?

Personality & fresh breath.

17. Do you drink?

On occasion.

18. Is there anyone who doesn’t like you because of something you did?

Im sure there is. But I think it's to do with my honesty. Oh well.

19. The one person who’s arms I’d like to be in?

These questions are kind of repetitive... Anyways, yes, Martin's. lol.

20. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Most definitely!

21. If i’ve done something I regretted very much?

I try and make amends & take karma as it comes.

22. What was the last party I went to, and when will the next be?

Last party was just before holidays, next party is weekend after next.

23. The last time I felt jealous, and why?

I don't remember.. Im not that jealous of much.

24. Last person you hugged?

My dad.

25. Your last kiss?

Martin.

26. What you wear to bed?

Comphy, baggy pj pant and Martin's oversized jersey :) 

27. Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is?

TAKEN. <3

28. Picture of yourself?

Im sure you can find a couple on my blogger... haha :)

29. Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

I sure have/am.

30. The reason behind my last break up?

He had bad breath and I didn't think of him as boyfriend material.

31. The last compliment that you’ve received?

I like that you're naturally pretty, funny, so nice. I love your photography ♥

32. My favourite actors/actresses?

I don't particularly have any favourites.

33. Celebrity crush?

Don't have one.

34. My favorite book?

I have a couple..

35. A famous person I’ve been compared to?

When I sung in front of people, I was compared to the singer Norah Jones.

36. The best thing that has happened to me this week?

I sung in front of people & made a career decision :D

37. Do you believe in abortion?

I believe it is completely up to the person considering getting one.

39. Something i’m currently worrying about.

School results. HSC.

40. Your own question that you want me to answer. 

What do you want to do with your life & where so you see yourself being in 10 years? :)

PEACE.X

confession's about me;

• I have a finger phobia.
• I CANNOT stand people touching my hair - if someone does, I will go home and wash my hair, even if I had a shower that morning.
• I never sleep with my hair down.
• I genuinely do not like my mum. Never will. 
• I love my boyfriend to bits but I have never really thought about the fact that i'm labelled as 'his girlfriend'.
• I severely lack confidence and it puts me two steps back in everything.
• If I never talk to anyone in my family again, I wouldn't care.
• I am going to try and pursue a career in singing - I have two youtube channels, but truth is I probably wouldn't tell you the link.
• I listen to a lot of sad songs, cause I can relate to them..
• I am always thinking about food and what I want to eat.
• I have an AMAZING boyfriend.
• I snapped off the tip of my finger 4 years ago and STILL don't know how I did it.
• I have depression and nobody seems to get that people with depression go through very big downward spirals and can't do much about it.
• I hate my life, but I don't think I would ever end it. I would probably just get fat by eating all my moods away.

Anyways just being a little random...

PEACE.X

Growing confidence.

Oh my goodness!

I just got the biggest confidence boost ever and I just thought I would share it with you guys!

Like, oh my goodness! This could be the beginning of something quite big :D

So as I may have mentioned in previous posts - i LOVE to sing. Singing to me has always been my dream career, you know when you are little and you want to be a princess or something, yeah? Well I have always wanted to be a singer/performer.

So anyways I have always just sort of sung at every possible chance, that im alone.

I have always had confidence issues that I got from my upbringing and so I have never thought it possible for me to have a chance at becoming a singer/performer.

BUT TONIGHT.....

Tonight Martin came over - he has musicians as parents and so he knows a thing or two about musical instruments, including singing. I never thought I would actually let him hear me sing but tonight I felt so comfortable with him that I did! It was SO nerve wracking!

I can't even put into words how amazed he told me he was about my singing capabilities, he said that he was really shocked that I could sing so well, and I couldn't be happier that I chose to sing to him!

Needless to say; I am over the FUCKING moon!

He gave me THE BIGGEST confidence boost and that's exactly what I needed.

This could lead to something very exciting!

OH MY GOODNESS!

Sorry I just really needed share this really positive moment!! :D

Busy! Busy! Busy!

Woah! It has been ages since I have been on blogger...! Well it sure feels like it. We have soooo much to catch up on!

So I haven't been home for almost a week, that's why I haven't been blogging because I didn't take my laptop with me :)

I have been all over the place - visiting my sister and staying at Martin's place. Ok so maybe not everywhere but sshhh! :D

The past couple of days have also been really special Martin turned 18 yesterday - now legally an adult & old :P ANND Martin & I celebrated our 6 month milestone on monday. 6 months has really gone fasssst! Anyway me and Martin have been having some really nice quality time together and even though we just lived with each other for almost a week, it sucks that im back home now :/

Anyways I thought I would share a few photos on this blog but be sure to check out my other blog later for some other new photos :)

Martin's 6 month surprise for me :D

PEACE.X

What a lovely day :)

4.8.11

Biology study? Nah.

The awkward moment when Bruno mars is having a lazy day and doesn't catch a grenade for you.

I miss my grandma heaps right now & i'm going to fail my bio exam tomorrow :/

Life is on a downwards spiral right now and all I want to do is get off it.

I should probably go study now, but I know my mind isn't going to let me.

But I don't have any new pictures to upload so maybe I won't stay on blogger.

Spring is arriving early!

Just for today.

Smiles.

Because, I swear my cat is evil...

Cute kid :)

The plants were smiling too!

Because this is my cute red dress :D

And most of all - because study just was not on my mind today C:

Does anyone even read these?

If I'm honest I have to tell you I still read fairy-tales and I like them best of all.
- Audrey Hepburn

Today, well I suppose it can start tomorrow, I am a new me, or should I say better?
Whatever way you want to put it there is a change coming.


A change in my attitude, my patience, my confidence, just an overall change for the better :)
It was a little while ago when I was having one of those shitty (:O I swore - oh la la) mood days and nothing was going to make it better, and someone I knew was also having a rather shit day - these were one of those people who you say 'If you ever need someone to talk to, i'm here' - unfortunately I had said that to this person and OF COURSE they needed someone to talk to.
So here I was in a shitty mood talking to someone, whom I really didn't want to talk to, but it was while I was talking to this person and just realizing how much better their mood seemed to be just by talking and listening to little old me, that I realized I was also in a much better mood :)


MORAL OF THE STORY, ANYONE?
Even if I am in the shittiest mood, it makes a BIG difference when you make someone happy or smile.


SO, I have decided that everyday I am going to research a quote and stick by it all day.
I think quotes say a lot of things most people are afraid to and have bundles of truth in them. For me, I could probably live my life off the raw truths of quotes and feel I fulfilled the right way of honesty in life.


From now on I shall be either starting or finishing a blog post with a quote I feel should be heard and is honest - makes sense considering i'm an honest person :)

PEACE.X

Simply, because I can.

It's better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for what you are not.

PEACE.X

NEW BLOG!!

Hey there!


Just letting you guys know I have a new blog! Only this time the blog is 100% made up of MY photogrpahy :D


You should know how to get to it just click on 'view my complete profile' and go to the blog 'A world of photography' OR go to this website;

http://smalltowngirlphotography.blogspot.com/

I will still have this blog up and running as per usual but this one will become more of an actual writing blog and the other one will be solely dedicated to my photography :) 


Please check it out - you might actually like my photography :)


PEACE.X

He Is The Best Thing To Happen To Me. Just saying..

Ok, so. Yes, I am negative a bit... but just to show you some positive things in my life, I thought I would share some of the insanely cute sms texts I get from him. He gives me a lot more strength then I could ever ask for, and this is how..

Hopefully more positive posts like this to come? I think so :)

DAY TWENTY THREE - A picture of your favorite book(s).

The Diary of Anne Frank

Lauren Huxley - True Colours.

 About a girl who survived a horrific house robbery gone wrong.

A Child Called It. - Autobiography about the authors violent and messed up childhood.

Words to describe it - graphic but inspiring.

 

Cherub Series. - A fun series about child spies.

I have so many more favorite books but these are just a few :)

What is this?

Hey there.

So I thought I would write to you bloggers to add more variety to my blog.
Ok, so, my blog (as you may have noticed) is not always the happiest blog but I'm the kind of person who is going to tell it like it is with brutal honesty. Sometimes honesty isn't always the best thing to be but it does make you a better person, even if you are the only one to think so.
I don't know why I felt the need to say that but there you have it..
What I was actually going to say was that today I cried for the first time in 2 months. It's weird and I kind of felt embarrassed by it because I hadn't cried in so long - well it is a long time for me. But it wasn't just a random pity thought or anything, I actually had a breakdown and still feel myself breaking down :/
I just thought that I would tell you guys this cause most of the time I feel I don't express myself enough and I think it is important to share certain thugs with people. This may be to help yourself or even to help another without even knowing it - it may just be the reassurance that they need to know they aren't alone.
You see I feel alone a lot. Yes, I do have a loving,caring boyfriend but on the other hand I have an emotionally abusive (ex physically abusive) mother who I have to come home to everyday and deal with. Just like today.. I cane home to study and she started yelling at me telling me she is going to kick me out after I finish my schooling, and telling me day in day out that I should get a job, even though I'm trying to finish off my last semester of school. She never asks me about school,how it's going, how I'm coping... If she had she would of known that I'm struggling - especially with the lack of support. So yeah i feel alone, a lot.
I could sit here and continue telling you about my woes but in all honesty I think I will go have a little cry and go to sleep.
Goodnight bloggers - sorry for the negative stuff... :/

PEACE.X

DAY TWENTY TWO - A picture of something you wish you were better at.

Confidence.

I love to sing and I have a youtube channel but I wish I had more confidence and time to practice and perform. Would love to pursue a career in singing.

Onedayhopefully.

Peace.X

DAY TWENTY ONE - A picture of something you wish you could forget.

My 'childhood'.

Yes, this is a real picture, and yes, this is a picture of MY back.

Oh, and yes, those are hand prints.

DAY TWENTY - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.

One day I hope to travel THE WORLD.

A girl can dream big, right?
:)

PEACE.X

DAY NINETEEN - A picture and a letter.

Dear Grin,


I miss you soo much! I even cried today because I realized just how much I miss you :'/
This year it will be 4 years since you left us and moved on to a (hopefully) better life.
You were such an amazing person and an even better grandma - who spoilt us to bits!
I get really sad when I think about just how much you missed out on in my life. It makes me sadder to think you don't know the better person and young lady I have become :(

I hope wherever you are, you are proud of me.
I miss you so terribly and hate you were taken from us so young.
There have been a lot of times where I just wish you were here to cuddle up in bed with, eat lollies, watch your favorite crime shows, and just get advice, or even just have a big snuggle. I miss that. I miss you.


"Grin is the best in the world!"
Remember that afternoon? You kept bribing me to say you were better than Bec :D
I think you won. I miss those times.


Im sorry for the times I was a little brat and made you mad. I would trade anything to have just o n e  m o r e  d a y with you.

One day we will meet again and I will give you THE BIGGEST hug EVERR!
Until that day I just want you to know I love you FOREVER!


xxxx Laura.

DAY EIGHTEEN - A picture of your biggest insecurity.

People. people make me insecure.

DAY SEVENTEEN - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

Okay, I know I may mention him A LOT, and 6 months may not seem like a long time to some of you but he really has had a HUGE impact on my life, like you have no idea! Seriously this guy means HEAPS to me. Since meeting him and him asking me out my depression has subsided, I have more confidence and motivation, and he has helped me through SOO much including harassment/bullying.

i love you, bub! <3

DAY SIXTEEN - A picture of someone who inspires you.

Pink :)

DAY FIFTEEN- A picture of something you want to do before you die.

Road trip through all 50 states in America!
:D

DAY FOURTEEN - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

Bec - My sister.

Things haven't been and aren't always peaceful between us but at the end of the day she is my blood and I still love her and would do anything for her.

<3

Hey Guys :)

Hey there.

This is just a quick blog to say sorry for not posting anything new up or replying to your comments. In not being a snob and I will get around to posting and replying it's just, as I said in one of my other blogs, I have gone back to school and have been doing at least 3 hours study of everyday and by the time I get around to getting on here it's usually late or I'm too tired :/
I promise once I get back into a routine I will start blogging again... If anyone actually reads my blog that is... Haha :)
Anyways I will start posting again as soon as I can :)

PEACE.X

DAY THIRTEEN - A picture of your favorite band or artist

Boyce Avenue.

Okay, so. Boyce Avenue is just one of my favorite music choices. I chose them for this because they do covers of all sorts of songs including some of my favorite artists :)

Finals.

Today is my final day of school holidays :(


From now on I will be so unbelievably busy with my last term at school. Ever... Unless I decide to go to university.
But anyways i'm bittersweet about it being my last term of school. 
Its a good thing because I really find school unpleasant and hate having to get up real early everyday and do the same old routine - day in and day out. Its a bad thing because school is all I have ever had, even though I didn't like it, and also because I have no idea what I want to do once I finish school.


mmmmm. chai latte :D

So this term I have, trial exams, graduation, sign out day, careers market. After this term the next time I will have to come back to school will only be for formal and the big, scary HSC (higher school certificate, or some people call it their high school diploma) exams. 


So, its a fairly big time for me right now..


It's a final term for a lot of things, you wouldn't think it but it's actually quite scary. I will be classifed as an adult soon and with finishing school comes more responsibility. I feel sort of unsure about everything now, I can't imagine how i'm going to feel when it gets to Friday, 23rd September, 2011 - last day of school + one week before I turn 18.


AAHHHHHHHH.

Anyways I just thought I would tell you guys a little about what is fast approaching in my life, you know, make this more of a blog rather than me uploading pictures all the time :)

PEACE.X